A Job At Last!!!

Well, finally, after 3 long months of searching, I have gotten a job!! It isn't my ideal (what job really is?) but the pros far outweigh the cons, it's what I've been doing for the past 5 years, and it's something I "love", so I am not complaining. I will be a Case Manager (field nurse) for a hospice called Seasons. They started in Chicago and have expanded all over the western US. They have an office in Ft. Worth which has branched into Dallas, and I will be working out of the Dallas office. Right now it is still a part of Ft. Worth, but will soon be a "place of it's own" once all the staffing is finished. They are going to try to give me the patients on this side of Dallas, which will be good. There are some things I will have to learn and get used to, of course -- major thing is finding my way around! (That is the down side -- the driving. I was hoping for a more "sedentary" job at this point in my life.) But I've been doing pretty well getting around now with my GPS and trusty Google maps, so I think I'll be okay. I just hope my truck -- and my body! -- hold up for a few more years!

And now maybe I will be able to find a place of my own and my kids can have their home back! They have been so wonderful giving me a place to live, but I know it isn't easy having someone else share your life so closely. Once I'm out, they will be able to expand -- move the kids around with the extra bedroom and get ready for the new baby. And their lives will get back to "normal" again.

I must admit, I am going to miss being here. With Janie being so sick, I've tried to get up in the mornings to take care of Maiya and Cora so she can sleep, and I'll miss that time with them. I am sure there was more TV time than maybe there should have been, but I tried to keep it with Dora & Diego & Jungle Junction & the word show and whatever might be considered "educational". We read books sometimes, and played "babies", so it wasn't all TV. And I tried a "star and reward" deal with the 3 older ones just to help with things around the house. At least they are hanging up their bookbags now without being told! I am not sure it accomplished anything else but hey, one thing is better than none!

I have tried to be "helpful" while I'm here. With no income I can't really pay rent, but I've bought groceries and such now and then. Mostly though, I've tried to take some of the work off Janie and Kyle by helping around the house (helping with laundry, cooking, helping Kyle clean, trying to get the kids to "pick up", taking Maiya to school, taking care of her and Cora during the day like I said). It's made me feel good to help out when Janie has been so sick -- I felt like I was taking some of the load off her when she wasn't able to do things herself. Whatever I've done has been out of love and gratitude. Nothing else. The joy I have felt being close to Kyle, whom I love and admire and am so proud of as a son and husband and father; to Janie, a daughter-in-law I love like the daughter I never had, a wonderful wife & mother; and of course to all the "kids", has been beyond measure. I have felt comfort in the spiritual aspect of their lives, and pride in their accomplishments. None of that will change.

Soon, if all goes well, I will be "Nana who lives in the neighborhood", and "the original plan" will be back on track. And, at least until the new baby comes, life will get back to some semblance of normal.

Faithful Furry Friend

Do you have a "faithful furry friend"? If you do, you are very lucky. If you don't, you don't know what you're missing.

Pets have a way of creeping into our hearts whether we want them to or not. And once you let them in, they change your life. They don't ask for much -- just food, water, shelter, and love. And what they give in return is totally amazing!! They never complain, never question. They are always there offering comfort, companionship, and warmth. They show concern when you don't feel well, or are depressed. They are playful and upbeat when you are happy. They often tolerate the attention of little children, even when that attention is a little rough or annoying. They become part of the family and when they leave us, we feel their loss almost as deeply as if they were human.

I have always had dogs. And when the last one died, I swore no more pets. Then my son came home from FL and brought his cat. Her name is Cleo. She looks a little odd -- her face has a dividing line down the center and her coloring is light on one side and darker on the other. She slowly crept into my life, and eventually became "my" cat. When Aaron moved out, she stayed. Not only did she take up residence on my lap when I was watching TV, she became my "assistant tutor", perching on my printer when I was working online with Smarthinking in the evenings. She soon found her way into my bed, sleeping either against my back or laying on my arm. She added comfort when we lost Gram. She made the very long trip to TX with me. She still offers me comfort and companionship, still sleeps beside me, and still lays on the desk, either on my arm or on the keyboard when I'm on the computer. There are days when I feel like she is the only one who cares, the only one who loves me. I know that's not true, but you know what those times are like I'm sure. She doesn't care if I have a job or not, she doesn't care if we have our own "home", she doesn't care about anything except the fact that we are together and have each other. The point is, there are no limits on her feelings, no boundaries on her love. I wonder sometimes why people can't be that way. How different the world would be!

I don't know if animals "go to Heaven" when they leave us -- I hope they do, or at least I hope there is a place like that for them. They deserve it.

If you have a "Cleo", good for you! If not, try it -- you'll like it!

My Valentine - Late Yet Right on Time

Well, I have been feeling really good about my increasing ability to find my way around this "everything is bigger, but it's all laid out on a grid" state -- I have made it to several interviews on my own now and didn't get lost. That's good for someone who has a "directionally challenged" gene firmly imbedded in their makeup!

But that's all I can consider as good lately in the job hunt department. I have been to 3 interviews and still do not have a job. The last one I felt really good about, but it was with a dialysis company and I have no dialysis experience, so I kind of knew if they interviewed someone who did, it would pretty much cancel me out. It was still a disappointment when they told me "no" though. I was feeling like a failure, or a loser, and pretty "down" tonight, but a little angel helped out with that.

Maiya came upstairs with something hiding behind her back, and said "Nana, I have a surprise for you and I want to tell you that I love you best of all very much", then gave me a square of pink paper with a valentine (heart) cut out of the center and a hug and kiss!!

I still don't have a job, but I sure do have a very warm spot right in the middle of my heart, all because of the loving gesture of a little child!!

I know my family loves me, I don't mean to slight them, but it was that little gesture that turned my tears of frustration and depression into tears of gratitude. "And a little child shall lead them".

Progress!

Well, today I ventured out on my own and got the truck inspected, got it registered/licensed, and got my Texas driver's license. That might not sound like a big deal, but each thing had to be done at a different place!! I had to go about 9 miles one way to get the truck inspected. Then I had to go about 10 miles another way to get the registration done and get my new license plates. Then back toward home about 8 miles to get my driver's license. AND I DID IT ALL ON MY OWN with my little Google maps and my trusty GPS. Altogether took me about 3 hours and cost me $250!! (That's not counting gas.)

They told me things were bigger in Texas and they aren't kidding -- the fees for everything are way above what they are in VA. There is no state income tax here though so they have to make revenue somehow.

The day actually went kind of like this:
1 -- go to storage place, pay Feb. rent on it and look for lock box containing birth certificate. (Since I wasn't inside when the nice men put everything in there, I wasn't even sure where to look for the box! Thank goodness it only took me about 15 minutes to find it -- someone was looking over my shoulder on that one!)
2 -- go to bank and get cash. The tax (registration) office and DMV won't take debit cards, you need cash or a check -- and they won't take a check without a TX driver's license, which, by the way, you can't get until you have your proof of inspection and your registration!! DUH!!
3 -- get truck inspected ($40) after showing proof of insurance (thank goodness it passed!)
4 -- take inspection receipt, old registration, and proof of insurance to tax office and get truck registered and get new license plates (I just got regular ones -- at $180 for "ordinary", I was afraid to ask for "vanity" plates!)
5 -- take proof of insurance, registration receipt, VA driver's license, social security card, and birth certificate to DMV and get TX driver's license (which will be here in 3-4 weeks)($25)
6 -- stop at WalMart on way home and pick up tums and benadryl for heartburn and sinus headache! (Just kidding -- I did do that but the heartburn and sinus headache aren't new. That was yesterday!)

Actually I'm kind of amazed it only took 3 hours!!

The best part though, was that I did it all on my own, so I guess that just goes to prove what Janie and Kyle said -- I CAN find my way around if I just take my time and use the "tools" available to me like Google maps and the GPS. I knew that GPS would come in handy for me here!!

It was a good day today!

A rose isn't always a rose

Checked into what I would get if I retired in March (my birthday) and was very disappointed. Even with my pension from the hospital in PA I would only get roughly twice what I see houses -- and even apartments -- renting for here. So the idea of retiring early that looked good before has now taken on a not-so-good appearance. I could get a part-time job and earn up to $1000/mo and not lose any of my retirement pay, but again, I'd still have rent, utilities, a truck payment (for a while), food, and health insurance to worry about for 2 years before I could get Medicare. Not sure that's really a viable option.

If I don't soon get a job, I may have no choice, but hopefully things will change in that department. The next time someone calls with a job offer (and pray there will actually BE a next time!) I will take it no matter what it is and be grateful for it!! The phrase "beggers can't be choosers" is taking on a whole new meaning for me. Who knows, what I don't particularly want may turn out to be the best job ever!!

Decisions

Note: I debated about publishing this because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but then I've been told that blogging is a way of "journaling" and putting your thoughts and feelings into words. Well, these are my thoughts and feelings and right or wrong, I'm just honestly expressing them. I hope no one takes what I say wrong.

Did you ever make a decision and even though in your heart you knew it was right, you begin in your head to question yourself? I've been doing that a bit since yesterday afternoon.

I KNOW my decision to move to Texas was the right thing, at least for me. I missed my grandkids so much, and felt I was missing out on all the milestones in their lives even though I was fortunate to be able to come here for both Ben and Ella's baptisms and to attend all 4 of their Blessings. Maybe that decision to move here was selfish of me, but Janie and Kyle seemed happy to have me come and be nearby.

At least that was the intent -- the "nearby" part of it. As in having my own place. Not living under their roof. I messed up with renting the house and that fell through, but I try to look at that as a blessing in disguise, because the "getting a job quickly" part of the plan has fallen through too.

And I think I screwed that up the other afternoon. The job thing I mean. I got a call from the people who set up the Hospice interview and they said the company wanted to offer me a home health position. I was taken off guard a little and didn't show the enthusiasm I should have, made a few comments I shouldn't have (like the fact that I was hoping for hospice, and that I was hesitant about field work & was kind of hoping for an admin type job) but I told them I would consider it. I asked where it was and they said Allen (good -- 15 minutes away) but they couldn't answer my questions of would I be the only RN, what "territory" would it actually cover, what was the case load. The guy got a little forceful (I think) when talking about salary -- asked me what I expected and I told him, then he said "well if you aren't going to take the job we're not going to spend time negotiating money". I can understand that -- it's his job to find people jobs and that's how he gets paid. But at the same time I am not going to agree to take a job when my questions aren't answered, and in addition no one has told me anything about benefits. I told him to let me know what they said and he said he would call back "in a half hour or so, stay by your phone". That was over 2 days ago and I still haven't had a call back. So I guess I blew it. Lesson learned, even if it was the hard way.

J&K both said that I shouldn't worry about finding my way around, that if I can navigate Danville, I can navigate out here because of the way things are "layed out in a grid" and are easy to find once you get that down pat. I probably won't have too much trouble -- I have already gone to interviews on my own and most of the time can find my way to the bank (occasionally going through Hokaphonia!) and WalMart, the post office, etc. And as they say, if I don't like the job I can always quit. Problem is, as I told Kyle, I have a hard time showing enthusiasm for a job I'm not sure I want, and besides I am not going to agree to something blindly without having more information about it. Maybe I don't have the right attitude. Maybe I should change it to "take a job, any job, and deal with it". I don't know.

So, my decision to be honest in answering questions has apparently not been the right one. And now they are stuck with me here for who knows how long before something else turns up and I can get my own place less "nearby" than under their roof. I know they are just trying to help and I love them for it, but I also know how I feel. And right now I am feeling like a pain in the _____ for them. I don't feel like I am "paying my way" at all, just living off their generosity, and that is REALLY bothering me. I'm sure they'd like things back the way they were before I moved in here. And again, being honest, I'd like my own place. But I don't know what else to do right now.

Every day I send out (online) at least 2 or 3 applications. I've even sent to some places twice. I thought it would be easier than this. "Nurses are ALWAYS in demand, you won't have any trouble at all getting a job with your experience." Right. Someone forgot to mention that they want YOUNG nurses with experience (I think that's an oxymoron!), not experienced nurses who are OLD.

I am not sure I'll publish this. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Janie told me today I am too nice, and although that sounds like a good thing, sometimes it's not. I'll have to think about it and read it again. I am pretty sure Janie is the only one who ever reads what I write, and I don't want her to think I am ungrateful for all she and Kyle are doing. I'm not. I'm just me. And right now I am feeling kind of stupid and wondering if I did make the right decision by coming here. Again, I know in my heart I did, but my head is making me doubt that decision.

Do You Know the Way -- to Hokaphonia???

Today I went to the bank and to WalMart and Maiya went along. When we left the house I once again turned the wrong way (I keep doing that!) and ended up not being on the right road. I learned the other day however, if I go straight across the wrong road and through the housing development across the road, I will come out where I need to be, so that is what I did. Maiya needless to say was confused. "This not the way to the bank" she informed me. I told her it was a different way, the scenic route, and that I really did know how to get there. She asked me if I knew how to get to Disney World (yes, on a plane) -- how about California (yes, on a plane too, although I was then told you could also get there by driving a car). Then as she was looking at the scenery, she said "I know where we are now -- this is Hokaphonia"!! (Hope I spelled that right!) I was told that Hokaphonia was really a pretty place with gas and houses and yards and the reason that she knows all this is because "I'm smart!" When we left the bank (yes, it is in Hokaphonia too) and were headed to WalMart, she asked me if we were going back to Texas or were we just going to stay in Hokaphonia. Then she said we better go back to Texas "coz that's where us house is".

So if you ever get bored or just want to take a little side trip, come get Maiya and she will take you to Hokaphonia -- or some other equally facinating place, I'm sure!! I know one thing -- you won't be bored!!

Thoughts on Saturday morning

Well, I was hoping for a callback yesterday on the Thursday interview but so far, no call. Oh, well. Maybe they are trying to figure out what to do with me! I didn't get to talk to the admin person, only the nursing director (who, by the way, has only been on the job 2 weeks and couldn't tell me a thing about benefits, what the job was exactly that I was there to talk about, what areas it would cover, etc.). She was very enthusiastic and thought I would do "great helping with policy and procedure" issues, and other office work, but I think the job is field work. I am so torn, because I really don't want to do that anymore but am afraid if I don't take that kind of job if offered, I won't get a job. I am ready to "be grounded" somewhere and not have to learn all the streets and avenues and highways in some new town/city, and then travel around all day trying to find people.

Does that mean I really am getting old?

I am at the point where early retirement is beginning to look better and better. I could still find something part-time (there are a LOT of those jobs posted!) to supplement things for a few years, but the question is would I be able to manage financially, with rent, etc. as high as it is here. I definitely want my own place again, but need to be reasonable about it. It is something I think about though, that's for sure! And not because I'm not grateful and happy to have a place to live, but I am used to my independence and don't want to be a burden or disrupt anyone else's life either.

If there is anything good in all this, it is that I am able to be here and help out -- Janie had a super bad day this week and was on the sofa or in the bed all day, so I pretty much took care of things until Kyle got home. Might not sound like a big thing, but at least I felt useful. Sometimes I don't -- feel useful I mean. I try my best not to "butt in" when it comes to cleaning up, telling the kids what to do, and so on. That's not my place. It's hard because in my thinking it's taking some of the work off Janie & Kyle. But I am afraid they think it is butting in or being critical. So I try not to "do" if they don't ask. Little things like changing diapers or making lunch are no problem. It's the other things I hesitate about.

David keeps telling me to "look up, be patient, and have faith" and I know that's what I need to do, but it sure is hard not to get discouraged sometimes.

It's the weekend -- I'll start all over on Monday with all this. Maybe it will be my week!!

Chin up!! (or should that be "chins"?) :)

Rays of Sunshine

You know, sometimes when you get "down", God sends rays of sunshine into your life to brighten things up. I've got lots of them -- Kyle, Janie & the kids here in "Teckis", my loving family & "old" friends in VA, my faithful and patient Cleo (my cat) -- but I have to say that right now (don't anyone get offended here!) my two biggest rays are named Maiya and Cora.

Maiya entertains constantly with her never-ending talking and her vivid imagination. We were so concerned when she was "littler" that she would never talk, but she sure makes up for it now! Never a silent moment unless she's asleep. Her stories are hilarious -- right now she is on a "my stepmother" kick and the other night she was telling us all about when she was little and lived in the forest by herself with just a fridge and some bacon. (Don't ask -- couldn't begin to tell you where it comes from!!) She loves dress-up and drawing, so maybe she'll be an author and write childrens books someday!

Cora is just a delight -- her facial expressions alone are so hilarious you have to laugh! She's not talking unless you count her very expressive babble, but even at that it sounds like conversation. I am trying to teach her words and "body parts" -- occasionally she will say Mama or Dada or this or Nana or bye or nite-nite, but seldom will repeat anything when you want her to "say it again". She will point to her nose or her eyes when asked ONCE but again, no repeats. She's smart -- will get a diaper or put things back where they belong, or numerous other things you tell her to do, but I suppose she is too busy walking, running, climbing stairs, and going in circles to bother with speech. The best part of my day is when she sees me in the mornings, gets a big grin on her face, and squeals. And when she climbs on my lap and gives me kisses.

So when I get really down about this job situation, all I have to do is spend some time with my sunshine rays, and I feel a lot better!

Try it -- you'll like it! But find your own -- you can't have mine!! Ha, ha!

Records

Okay, so there are some records you really DON'T want to set -- like how many jobs can you be turned down for in one day. I win -- FOUR! I am honestly beginning to wonder what in the world is going on. I think a big part of it is my age. I know they are not allowed to discriminate but they find ways. Like the standard comment I'm getting, "your qualifications do not meet our criteria for the position". In a way I can understand -- they don't want to spend time and money training/orienting someone who may up and retire in 2 1/2 years. But hey, who says I'll retire then? I may like the job enough to stay for a long time! At least give me the chance.

I may have to retire -- then look at something part time to make up for what I lose by not waiting until I'm 66. It's not what I want, but who knows. Things keep going the way they are, I might not have a choice. I can't live here with the kids forever. Bless their hearts, they are doing what they can to help, but they have their own family to support and it wasn't meant to include a mother/mother-in-law.

I'm just frustrated, so you will have to forgive me and bear with me. This is something new for me to deal with and I'm doing the best I can at the moment. No one likes rejection, but in some situations it's harder to handle than others.

Oh, well. Like Scarlett said, "I'll think about that tomorrow"!

The Good, the Bad, and the Waiting

Okay, two more interviews under my belt, which is good. Won't know for a week or two if I got either of them -- the waiting. No more interviews scheduled -- bad.

This all is just not going the way it was supposed to go (at least in MY plans!). I was supposed to come here, move into my little house near the kids, have Christmas, then get a job. Not happening!

All I can say is, God must have something else in mind that He hasn't let me know about or figure out yet. But human being that I am, I am getting frustrated and depressed waiting to find out what it is! I am glad I am here and able to help out with things (especially the grandkids), but I feel like I am being a "sponge" and a burden on everyone by not being able to "pay my own way" right now. This sitting around waiting is very hard -- I don't like not doing anything. As I've said before, not working and taking a break is nice, but enough already, where is the income??

At least tutoring starts again on Sunday -- not much but at least something coming in!!

Oh, and today is Jan. 15, so we are waiting to see if another notice goes up on the "cute little house" up the street! I don't mean to sound vindictive or evil, but if it's going to happen I hope it does before someone else moves in there. And in a way, it would serve the "landlady" right for not telling us about her problems up front and for obviously not using my rent and deposit to get herself out of trouble.

Okay, now I ask for forgiveness for all of that, but it's how I feel.

'Nuff said for now.

Rejected, dejected

Well, the job with the neurologist didn't work out. Said she really liked me for the job but the "no neuro experience and no chemo experience" kind of cancelled things out. Boo. I really liked her and thought I'd like working with her. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Went for an interview with a fairly new hospice today. Went well but I'm just not sure I want all that driving around in strange places anymore. Have an interview with a rehab hospital tomorrow -- again, it's fairly new, down side is that it's for 3rd shift (12 hours). That means on 3 or 4 at a time, which might not be bad because of the days off then, but it will mess up my tutoring and I'm not sure I'm up to 12 hour nights. But we'll see what they say. Getting to the point where I can't afford to be too awfully choosy!

So, just a little down today.

Did have a great lunch with Kyle, Janie, Maiya and Cora today though at a place called "RED HOT & BLUE". BBQ place with jazz theme. Great BBQ, & the ribs J&K had looked and smelled fantastic!! Need a second visit!

I think I'll have ice cream for dinner tonight!!

"Catch-up"

No, not the red stuff you put on fries, just time to update all that's been going on. I know it's been about a month and a half since I posted anything, but then I'm not sure anyone even reads this stuff.

We made the trip to "Tekis" -- took 3 days instead of the planned 2, partly because I have a son who doesn't like to get up early, and partly because half way here, we lost a tire off the trailer carrying my truck!! Thank goodness it had 4 and we managed to pull into a hotel parking lot with it. Called Penske, and they replaced the trailer, but we had to wait nearly 3 hours for them to get the new one to us, so we just stayed where we were overnight. We were hoping to get a lot further that first day, but didn't happen. Oh, well. We finally got here, and safely, and that's what matters.

Moved into "my" neat little rental house on Monday (30th). 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, yard, etc. I really liked it and the "landlady" seemed really nice -- young, 3 kids, seemed really happy to have me in the house. It was a 3 minute walk from the kids, no major streets so the little ones could come over whenever with no worries. Had a room "set up" just for them. I was getting settled in and enjoying it until about a month later we came home from a job interview and found a notice from the bank on the door!! After some investigating, we found out the nice landlady (who had oddly enough moved to Ohio before Christmas!!) was 3 months behind in her mortgage payments and had 15 days to catch up or they were going to start foreclosure proceedings!!! K&J talked with several folks whose advice they trusted and the consensus was I needed to get out before I got locked out. So, rented a storage place, nice folks from their church came, moved my things out of the house and into the storage ALL IN ONE DAY. The next day we took enough stuff to K&J's for me to furnish a room (sorry Meg!) and stay with them for now. Of course, the nice landlady denied the "arrears", said her finances were none of our business, refused to refund my deposit because I "walked out" on the lease (of which I never did get a signed copy), and has already put the house on the rental market again! Maybe we did jump the gun, maybe she did catch up, but the trust factor is gone. How could I ever be comfortable there wondering constantly if she was behind again and looking over my shoulder for the bank to come lock up the house?

It is probably a blessing in disguise -- probably should have just moved in here to start with, but hindsight is always 20/20. The job situation did not pan out the way I planned -- still looking as a matter of fact! I guess I thought I'd come out here and just "fall into" something with no trouble. Didn't happen, still hasn't happened, although at least I have now had some interviews. So lack of substantial income makes paying a huge rent a bit difficult (rents here are about twice that in VA). At least I had someplace to go!!

So I will keep looking for work, work with my wonderful son to figure and learn to stick to a budget, help my wonderful "daughter" with the house and kids where I can, save some money, and rent again from a TRUSTED rental agent/company/person in (hopefully) a few months.

Good news is, Christmas was great!! The first "real" one with the grandkids! They are growing so fast. Ella was baptised on the 12th of Dec. and that was a wonderful thing to be able to see. Ben is quite a young man now. Maiya talks incessantly (did we really worry at one time that she would never talk??), and Cora is a joy -- such a happy baby most of the time. And we just found out there will be a new one to spoil come September!! The household is chaotic at times, but it's a loving chaos and I wouldn't miss it for the world!!

Next step is to get a job, then onward and upward from there!!

So I will try to keep up a little better with this, although as I said I don't know who even reads it. That's okay. It's a good outlet!

Break Time

I just have to take a break. I've been at it since 7 a.m., it's now 10 p.m. and not sure how much more I can do. I did some sorting and trashing this morning, then my friend David came out and we actually loaded a lot of boxes I had already packed. He used to drive long haul tractor/trailer and knows how to pack, so we still have a lot of space left! I cannot believe what those trucks can hold. I did have to go out for a couple hours and run errands, but that wasn't really a break. At any rate, I was really hoping to clear out and have everything packed by tonight, but I don't think so. I still have 2 closets to go through and my clothes to pack. I got some of those space saver bags and it is kind of neat the way they "suck" down. Things weigh just as much, just in a smaller package! I don't know how many I'll use tho. I've got 6 suitcases downstairs I can fill!

And I'm baking pumpkin pies for tomorrow!! Kris said I had to stay until after Thanksgiving because I had to make the pies. :) Gram used to do it. He says mine taste like hers -- I'm not sure if he means it or if he's just being kind! He isn't the type to say what he doesn't mean tho, so I count it an honor that my pies taste like hers!!

Only thing left to do in the basement is my books. I never did get to sorting them. Don't know what I'll do. Thank goodness Kris owns the house now so if I leave things behind it isn't too big of a deal. I hate to do that, but just don't have the time to do much more.

Well, break is over -- the oven is beeping. Later!!

Meltdown

Had a major meltdown this morning! I have been so stressed over getting things done, and so tired I guess it all caught up to me this morning. I was going to Walmart to get some more packing supplies and when I went to tell Cleo goodbye (yes, I tell my cat goodbye when I leave!) I couldn't find her anywhere. She wouldn't come when I called her, didn't make a sound. All I could think of was that she had gotten outside. She likes to sneak out now and then and roll around on the cement of the carport. I knew I hadn't had the basement door open. I hunted for almost an hour trying to find her and the longer I hunted, the more upset I got and the more I cried!! Stupid I know, but I think it was just the perverbial straw. I looked under beds, in cupboards (yes, she can open the doors under the sinks and goes in there sometimes) and behind everything in the house and couldn't find her -- not once but many, many times!! I went outside and called her (I'm sure the neighbors think I'm nuts!) I finally found her curled up INSIDE the covering of the box springs on the twin bed!! It had come loose from the frame and she crawled in there and went to sleep!

Anyway, I felt like an idiot for getting so upset, but I think it helped a little in the end. Got out a lot of frustration!! I only have one more day to pack stuff so the fireman can load it on Tuesday (I want them to do as much as possible and just leave me with the "odds and ends" on Wednesday).

THEN if that wasn't enough, I go out to finally go to Walmart and the truck wouldn't start!! I messed around with it a little and finally it kicked in, but sure had me worried for a while there.

Phyl came over and helped me pack some more. Have my dishes and 90% of the pots/pans packed now. Most of my cooking utensils too. Just have the bathrooms and the closets left to do (besides the little stuff I'm sure I've missed, and my clothes!) I might get it all done by tomorrow night, but I'm not holding my breath!

I absloutely CANNOT believe I'll be leaving here in 5 short days! INCREDIBLE!!

Define "exhausted"

The definition is "ME"!! I am sooo tired of cleaning out and packing up and sorting and piling and moving this here and that there!! I know it will all be worth it in the end because I'll be close to my "babies" (sorry Ben & Ella!) but getting to the end may be the end of me!! I never -- and I am not exaggerating -- NEVER have seen so much stuff in one place in my life! Unless maybe at Walmart! I cannot believe we added & deleted, moved from PA, added and deleted again, moved it from our other VA house to this one, and STILL have this much!! I always loved having a basement but believe me, I am going to be very glad NOT to have one with this move! Having a garage will be bad enough. I started out keeping a lot of things for "sentimental" reasons, but even sentimentality is wearing thin. Some things,yes, I refuse to part with, but others just don't seem quite that special anymore. I hope I don't regret not bringing something, but then again, if I haven't used it or looked at it for a long time, I probably won't miss having it.

Well, back to work!

Starting Over

Well, I thought I would create a new blog and then I thought again and decided to just start over with the old one since that is what I'm doing with my life! I will catch you up on things a little later -- for now, just starting again.